When I am worrying few of my higher functions operate properly. I am more scatter-brained, I lose my appetite, I become insecure and paranoid. All in all it is unfrickinhelpful.

I view these moments as a puzzle. There is a solution and the solution results in me relaxing and not stressing about things. I know there are people out there who feel like that pressure one puts on oneself is a good thing but there are also a lot of people out there taking prescription chemicals to prevent crippling depression. Heck, I used to be one of them.

My goal is to identify the root of problems that cause worry and deactivate or defuse them so that the worry ceases. Am I worrying because I have no idea where I’ll be living next week? Yes. But at the same time I have a roof over my head right now and the future is yet undiscovered.

I find that taking shelter in the LORD is really a salvation of sorts because the worry and stress and fear disappears. These things really cripple me. Faith in the LORD heals those wounds. Life can be scary but faith can raise us up and elevate our spirits.

Does all mental effort do the same?

What does this mean? You’ve been tired for a long time and you are sick of it. It’s often used as an indictment of a relationship. However it seems to me that in many cases, possibly the person responsible is the sayer rather than the intended listener.

If you’re tired, do something about it. Figure out what’s making you tired, what YOU are doing to make you tired and stop doing that. It’s tough sometimes.

I AM POWERLESS

Sharing feelings with a loved one is a powerful form of communion. When I share with her I feel connected but when I hide my feelings I feel cut off. The hard part is that I’m the one doing the cutting off. But then she feels my separation and distance and she loses trust. She starts worrying and she becomes paranoid.

Communion. Feelings are a sacrament.

If I tell myself a thing and then I craft a movie in my head that supports the thing then I am reinforcing the real ness and belief in that thing regardless of genuine veracity.

Ex.: I tell myself that my wife is cheating on me and then I start to imagine that occurring, I am more likely to believe that imagined infidelity as being real.

Daydreams are just ways of ushering something into reality.

Could it be that the LORD or Universe or Great Spirit puts this joy in our hearts as a sort of guidepost to direct our path?

We get excited by “paths” we see that are glamorous or rich with status or money or fame. “Hey! I wanna be a movie star!” or “Hey! I want to be a pro football player!”. We see these and are led down these paths by the illusions they appear to offer.

I wonder if greater joy is not to be found in the paths which the LORD leads us down.

I wonder if this isn’t obvious to everyone but me.

Ironically, taking responsibility is the only way to be consistently happy. Taking responsibility for one’s actions is the best (only?) way to produce/maintain/nourish consistent, deep happiness.

The cycle of the microcosmic orbit is from the Tan Tien or Perineum, up the back to the crown and down the front, through the hard palate and tip of the tongue, chin, throat, solar plexus, genitals and back to the Tan Tien.

What I came up with was that the flow of energy goes from Earth to Heaven and then to Humanity (represented by the heart).

Is that the way experience/existence should be filtered? Experimentation shall ensue.

EDIT: (1/30/12) — What if experience is actually best absorbed in the reverse direction and response is filtered in the above manner? What if experience is best absorbed through the heart chakra? My intuition tells me this is very important.

1) Verbal/Linguistic – The most recognized type of prayer. “Our Father” “In shallah” etc.

2) Visualizing/Manifesting

3) Loving – Feeling love deeply

4) Devotion -

While ruminating on this practice it occurred to me. There are conduits that the LORD channels his love through. Some of these might be friends, family, pets, food, mountains etc. Anything, really. Everything in fact. Some of these are conduits through which HER love is felt more strongly than others. There is a certain girl who, when I am around her, I can feel the LORD intensely, immediately and intimately. I can feel the love through Carlos, my dog. I can feel Love through the sunshine and smell Love in the rain. But it’s easy to forget these everyday (or mundane) things. The nature of our existence is Maya (illusion or forgetting) and that can make it tough to remember to open ourselves to the flow that is all around us and to focus on the things that we get a rush from. I get a rush from the girl. Then when the girl is gone I feel the loss. As if a part of me is missing.

Today I thought to myself “The Yogi feels (feeds) from all sources, deeply and well”. The yogi does not climb heights, the yogi swells to breadths.

What if, rather than us focusing our energy outward, creating things and such, we ought to be taking in our surroundings; leaching into our beings. Is this the meaning of The Receptive? (Hexagram 2)

Hmm…

To contend with Fear gives it more power than discovering (it’s) root & letting it simply wither.

In other words: Cease nourishing the fear and it will slowly die off.